The Stephen Colbert Experience
The Stephen Colbert Experience is merely a reflection of the world inside Stephen Colbert's gut because the whole of America and American Society exists just as Stephen Colbert says it does. Stephen Colbert's gut is an empire unto itself and thus creates its own reality, which we can all enjoy and must be thankful for. It has become imperative that every Americans to be thankful that Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has clarified our country and what we stand for since 9/11. What Is The Stephen Colbert Experience? The Stephen Colbert Experience is America as it really exists. It is no different than the America before 9/11, Stephen merely simplifies everything for each and every loyal and patriotic American. Stephen does not see color, therefore his world is black and white. This stark reality created by his non-color-seeing super-eyesight allows his other senses to become more powerful as well, giving him 5 more superpowers: * super-hearing * super sensitivity * super-tasting abilities * super-olfactory skills * super-duper ESP This page will help non-Americans and un-Americans understand the world through Stephen's super-sensing Patriotism. The Stephen Colbert Vision In addition to his inability to see race (or his ability to see past race) Stephen also cannot see gender. This simply means Stephen judges people based on their abilities, not the color (or gender) of their skin, just like Martin Luther King, Jr. told him to. Other things Stephen cannot see: * class * age * physical or mental handicap * familial status * previous criminal record * Vietnam Veteran status * Gender * Race In addition to his great vision, Stephen has a finely honed sense of empathy that gives Stephen the ability to feel the news, which he does four times a week on his show, "The Colbert Report". Stephen's Sensitivity Stephen loves America. And The Baby Jesus. And OHL hockey. Because of his love for Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and his patriotism for his country, Stephen can detect when others are below him on the sensitivity scale. Stephen knows when there is a bear within 5 miles of his current location. It's almost like bear-dar of some kind. It's not that other people can't sense bears miles away, or love their country, or Our Lord and Savior, it's that Stephen cares more. Using his super-sensitivity, Stephen can counter-act any anti-American, or anti-Jesus activities in a person's head, before it becomes a person's behavior. Which is really his gift to America. Also, Stephen feels the news at America Monday through Thursday 11:30p.m. on Comedy Central. Check your local listings for repeats. The Colbert Taste Buds Stephen has great taste. He only wears the finest clothing, consumes the most refined cooking and enjoys only the very best movies, books, music and other ephemera of popular culture. He was also born with the ability to taste whether something is helping or hurting America. Most people would test the winds of fashion with their fingers, Stephen just uses his tongue.